Updates They Are A'Comin'

Title says it all, but I'll leave you all with this to tide you over.


Yes I've been slack. Yes I will continue to be slack. There will be something new though.

Fast Food Not So Fast

Fancy Fast Food has some interesting takes on traditional American fast food. Check it.

Tech Naw Lo G

Here we have a fairly standard iPod. MSRP $300


And here a not so standard iSoap. LKSRP Priceless.

April 1st Was Just Foolin'

Those greys in the beard are all from this campaign. Yay. Now not launching any earlier than next Friday. I'm just going to stop coming in to work since every time I do the launch date moves further to the right.

Scrubbed!

Totally weak.

Update: Well when I left work tonight it was rescheduled for no sooner than Friday. I get to the scrub party (this is the party where all the booze and food that was already purchased to celebrate a successful launch is instead consumed, because well it's already been purchased) and it's announced that we will NOT launch any earlier than the 26th.

Even more weak. I'm starting to really dislike Florida.

Update #2: Based on what is coming up that is out of our control, other launches, the Shuttle coming home, etc., it is looking less and less likely that the 26th is a good date. This just gets worse and worse.

Stupid Shuttle

Well the shuttle has now officially bumped us out of the way. The earliest we will launch is next Tuesday and even that is iffy due to weather concerns next week. Great.

Also, stole this from Tara. I will abide.

Still Taking It Easy

Haven't looked at my phone so I don't know if there are any messages there. Don't wanna know. If you've left a message and I haven't gotten back to you well then call the hotel. :)

In other news this was the scene outside my window this morning. Velly nize.



It's essentially the same right now with the sun to the right instead of to the left. Still velly nize. Until I noticed what some darn avian critter left for me. Been here a month with nothing and now that right in the middle of the window. Heh.


Not quite so nize.

Since I've been here I've had a few Presidentes, but down at the bar the selection is limited and I've been mixing it up between Sam Adams and Stella Artois. All very satisfactory. Last Thursday while at the Pubix grocery store with a coworker I noticed they had this for sale in six packs. So I grabbed some.


Oh man! I finally popped one open today and to quote Cinderella, yes Cinderella, the band, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." Oh baby was it nice to put down some nice hoppy IPA. Ahhhhhhhhh.

Viva le hops!

All Puns Intended

I can't take credit for any of these, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Enjoy. Thanks Pop.

• Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

• A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

• Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

• A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

• A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

• Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

• "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
  "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
  "Is it common?"
  "Well, It's Not Unusual."

• Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
  

• An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

• Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

• I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

• A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
  

• I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

• What do you call a fish with no eyes?
  A fsh.

• Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

• Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

• A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
  "But why," they asked, as they moved off.
  "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

• A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

• Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

• A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

• And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Little Kenny Says....

Deschutes Inversion IP..A followed by Dogfish Hea d IP A does not make fo r cohenrent posting by lllllllliiiiiiittle kennyl. No more. done go to bed. oi my.

I'm A Maverick

Click Me

Ok, maybe one more.

Click Me Too

And just one more.

Click me trois.

The Wedding Invitation

And scroll down.....
























Yes, that is the dress you want to wear on your "big" day. I wonder if he built them.

Oh So Tasty

Stumbled on this today. Pulled from here. It's a dead blog, but I got a chuckle.

The story goes that during Hurricane ‘Iniki, many local Kauai chickens and fighting roosters were freed from their cages. They roamed free, and, as wild chickens often do, they multiplied beyond control.

The local Kauai government is reported to have tried to entice the local population to begin enjoying killing and eating the Kauai chickens as a means of population control. The following recipe is posted as a means to enjoy the local denizen:

Kauai Wild Chicken Recipe

* 1 wild Kauai chicken
* 2 onions
* 1 Cup of chopped pineapple
* 1 bunch of seasoning of any kind
* 1 large volcanic rock
* Salt. Maybe some pepper

Put all ingredients into a large covered pot. Simmer over a low flame for a very very long time: until the volcanic rock is soft and tender. Discard the wild chicken, and enjoy.

No Starfleet For Me

Reclusive Artist

53% Intrigue, 73% Civilization, 57% Humanity, 35% Urbanization

Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam...

Reclusive Artist

We think we've found a place for you.

Your answers indicate that you're very fond of the fruits of civilization... for example, education and technology. But, in some twist of irony, you're not too fond of the pressures of civilization... you know, human beings and crowds and working together. We found you a place where you could enjoy an erudite existence, live a life that's intriguing and not entirely secure -- but far from the madding crowd.

Removed from civilization and humanity, yet educated and sophisticated, you'll make the perfect reclusive artist... An eccentric that produces irresistibly attractive masterpieces. Your art will make people swoon, and yet you will despise your audience. Your audience will probably dislike you as well, though they will go on admiring your work. So it all balances out, and your patrons will leave you alone to shape beauty in the wild, dangerous parts of the world where people won't pester you so much. Probably, you will write under a pseudonym, and mutter a lot when a rare admirer comes calling. If you feel really adventurous, you can pursue the role of a political dissident.

As you age, you will grow into the role of an incorrigible curmudgeon.

You artists, you're all the same.

Take Reincarnation Placement Exam at HelloQuizzy

Sad News

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he is still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads it.